I was innocently watching tv last night, and all the of the sudden the most terrifying commercial I have ever seen came on. It was horrifying. The images were so startling; they have been burned into my brain. It’s only fair that you should picture them as well, so that we can all be permanently scarred together.

The commercial opens with a shot of an old abandoned theater. The background voice (low and semi creepy) begins:

There is a legend that this theater was once owned by a women ventriloquist.

The camera spans the theater and then the shot shows the attic where all the puppets are sitting in a pile, dusty and neglected. Two people are on the stage and they talk about how they are going to restore the theater and sell it. One nervously mentions the “legend” the other inquires what it is…

(Narration begins again): The legend says that her puppets came to life and killed her so that they could live in the theater alone.

The camera slowly closes in on the puppets in the attic and their eye’s pop open. Evil grins spread across their faces.

The next shot is of a lady entering her bedroom. The camera moves to the bed, where something is under her sheets. She pulls back the covers and…. It’s an Evil!! Demon!! Puppet!!! There to kill her!!!

I then begin to scream with fear and run from the living room to my bedroom to hide. But there might be evil demon puppets in my bed! AHH!! No place is safe!! The roomy continues to sit on the couch and laugh at me.

Few things scare me as much as Evil Demon Puppets. Evil Demon Children scare me. Oh, and midgets. But they are kinda like children. But not, but the same size. Oh, and Evil Demon Clowns are also very scary. I am no longer allowed to watch tv. At least until this movie is no longer playing. Thank goodness for On Demand.