Questions not to ask the neighbor. Ever.

Isn’t funny how you can know someone for most of your life, and yet not? I was in love with the same boy from when I first found out what love was until I was 15. It’s a long story, the shorten version is still too dramatic for a blog. This weekend kinda jolted me a little, it just made me think, and really, some things never change. It’s been a life time, I’m know that we aren’t the same people that we used to be. But sometimes, part of me wishes that my childhood dreams could still come true. Before I found out that boy’s don’t grow up to be knights in shining armor, I dreamt about white dresses and little picket fences, and who’s side I would stand by on that day. Hmm… Who had any idea that I would end up where I am today? I sure didn’t. I’m pretty glad that I’m not finished living life yet too… since there are still quite a few things I’d like to experience. However, there are a couple I would like to un-experiance...
Alright, enough of the introspective-ness. Funny thing happened to me last week. The room mate and I were sitting in the back yard, enjoying the cool evening and my neighbor stopped by, the funny one. We were chatting and I noticed that he was wearing some pretty cool shorts. Never one to hold back a complement, I told him how very fly they were. He thanked me, and I asked him where he had gotten them. He thought for a second, said that he didn’t know… and then all the sudden his shorts were around his ankles and he was looking at the tag. Umm… ya. Hello! I didn’t really want to know that badly. Let’s just say it’s a good thing that he remembered to put his underwear on that morning. I would have been scared for life. I felt bad though, because my JW neighbors were having a big family bbq and their yard backs up to mine. There was my neighbor, pants-less, looking at his tags to try and determine where his wife had bought his shorts for him. Poor old ladies, I hope that they didn’t get an eyeful and then faint. I didn’t hear and screaming…Sigh. So the moral of the story is, don’t ask the neighbor unless you REALLY want to know. Oh, and for all you girls out there, because I know that you are curious (my neighbor is pretty hot)…boxer briefs. Yep. Wink, Wink.

Ten things that men don't know about women

I found this online today... It made me smile!!

Ten things men don’t know about women.
By Sela Ward

1. Remember in old movies when women used to swoon and "take to the bed" for days at a time? That never happens. We're stronger than that. That being said, if we ever decide to "take to the bed" for days at a time, there's not a thing you can do about it.
2. Sometimes we think we really understand men. Then we regain consciousness.
3. Super skinny women really irritate us. We hate when they say, "Sometimes I just forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my anniversary and where I parked my car. But I've never forgotten to eat.
4. We do like to have sex, just not at midnight when we have to get up at the crack of dawn to feed two kids, three dogs, and a pair of fat goldfish.
5. We'll gladly agree to stop complaining about our "time of the month" if men will kindly take over the little chores of childbearing, morning sickness, and postpartum emotional swings. Deal?
6. Women really do want to be on time. It's just that everything starts so darned early.
7. We know high heels are sexy, but we'll take our comfy black Uggs any day of the week.
8. Homespun wisdom from someone who knows: Just because we're southern belles doesn't mean we have bats in our belfries.
9. We really do like to cook. It's just that we cooked so much for our boyfriends before we got married that we're sick of being in the kitchen. Sorry you missed it.
10. Men are free to think they're the boss, as long as they know we're the chairman of the board.

All Right People… Here it is.

Nothing terribly exciting has been happening in my life. I’m getting old…er. All the sudden I looked around and most of my friends are in happy, wonderful relationships with futures and what not. I’m in a happy relationship, with myself. I would say Howard is in it too, but he is really not a good example. Our relationship is pretty one sided. I make sure that he has food, water, potty breaks, and pats on the head. He sheds incessantly all over the house, chases the cats, and does his best to stay underfoot. It’s great.
Speaking of dogs… I met my neighbor yesterday. Wait, that transition didn’t go as smoothly as I wanted. Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh, yes. I have lived in my neighborhood for three years. I know all my neighbors, but I haven’t met all of their significant others. For example, I know my neighbor across the street, but I had not officially met his wife. Yesterday Travis went over to help him break up some concrete, and I was invited to tag along. She is so nice! I was so excited to make her acquaintance. The funny part that has to do with dogs is coming up next… So we chatted for a couple of hours while the guys did their manly breaking up concrete thing. She was telling me that she really likes her little toy poodle Pepper, because she likes her dogs a little dumb. Not smart enough that they can figure out how to get out or steal food. All I could think of is how she likes her men a little slow on the draw as well. I can’t even believe it, I mean, don’t get me wrong, they are the coolest neighbors I’ve ever had… but her husband is not the sharpest tool in the shed. For example, he bought this address light that is pretty tacky and it’s on the front of their house. He made the comment that he knows how much she loves it because every time he turns the light on, she turns it off to make sure that it lasts and doesn’t wear out. It just struck me as extremely funny that he believes that. Seriously. They are so fun though. I think that he doesn’t realize how funny he is, and that just makes it so much funnier. In conclusion it was great to meet them and spend some time with her, I really like her and I hope that we can hang out again. I would like to invite them over for a bbq or something, but I don’t have any patio furniture. I don’t have a patio either. I have three camping chairs. So it may be a while.

The Flipper... and more NY

Today is Friday. I wasn’t really sure if I was going to make it. My attitude on life is directly related to the weather it seems. It didn’t used to be that way, I’m not really sure how it happened. It’s not that I don’t love the sunshine. In fact, I do love the sunshine. I just am slowly melting from the heat. I can’t seem to sleep at night, I’m waking up at odd hours of the night because my room is so hot. It making me a little grumpy. I’ll be honest, I’ve lost my patience, and I’ve noticed that I have begun to whine. I’m really starting to annoy myself, I don’t like whiny people. So I’m camping out in front of the world’s smallest air conditioner, and spending some quality time with it.
I was watching tv last night, and the room mate came home from work (yes, he does occasionally work, shocking I know. He doesn’t like to own up to it though, people get these expectations and think that he should do it all the time and whatnot, so he normally doesn’t admit to it. Plus, his view on work is taking a two hour nap at his desk.) Anyways, so I’m watching tv and he mentions that I have a new boyfriend. Another boyfriend, he says, without a car. I looked him slightly confused, because I’m 100% single. He laughs and says, HBO on Demand! Way to go funny guy. Nice. I have real friends, honest. I just choose to move as little as possible in this weather. Plus, I’m new to the whole cable tv scene. I also am easily distracted, so having 500 channels at my fingertips is fairly negative. I’ve always been a flipper, you know, that annoying person that changes the channel as soon as the commercials come on. But now, with 500 channels, it takes me move then the allotted 5-7 minutes to get back to the original channel. So I end up missing half of the show, I get bored because it isn’t entertaining any more, and next thing you know… I’m flipping again. I never had this kind of trouble before. I think that cable tv has increased my inability to commit. Because now I can’t even commit to watching an entire show. Sad.
So… I promised more on New York. Lets see. Where should I start? Amber and I decided to take a red eye flight, because we figured the sooner we got their the better, right? WRONG. Red eye flights are the worst. It’s bad enough that you are in a place for 6 hours, with no way to really relax, but then you through in the lack of sleep… and things get nasty. Positive, I have to think positive. So, the good thing about a red eye flight is… wait, there isn’t anything. Being the stingy money savers that we are, we opted to fly out of Seattle. This saved us about $100 each. I got off work early on Wednesday, and ran home to pack. I was worried, because it seemed that I had way to much that was deem necessary, and very little space for it. Finally, I narrowed down the essential from the really-want-to-take-it-even-though-I’ve-owned-it-for-three-years-now-and-still-haven’t-worn-it-once. Then I proceed to pack my two suitcases (side note: I was going for a week, I’m allowed to take two. Also, note that neither was exceptionally large. One was small enough to be a carry on, the other was the next size up.) Amber called, all upset because she was worried that she was bringing to much. I reassured her I was probably taking to much as well, but we are girls, we are best at over packing, long phone conversations, and knowing the difference between the colors sand, khaki, off-white, bisque and tan. (Oh, and per the room mate, cooking barefoot in the kitchen.) The trip officially started when Amber showed up at my door to pick me up. She looked at my two suitcases and began to laugh. I looked at her two suit cases and laughed. I laughed because her suitcases combined weighed more then she did. One was the size of a small island, the other was a little bigger then Montana. I would just like to say that lugging that friggin’ suitcase all over NY was not as fun as it sounds. That thing weighed in at 95 pounds, and was extremely hard to get up three flights of stairs in our elevator-less hostel. At one point Amber considered mailing part of it home, but the thought of not having everything there caused a slight amount of panic, so that idea was quickly discarded. We had originally planned on spending the first part of our trip in Boston with Amber’s friend Paula. Unfortunately after the tickets had been bought, we found out that she wouldn’t have space for us to stay with her until the end or our trip. So, after spending all night on a plane, we caught a greyhound bus to New York. The four hour trip wasn’t that bad. The bus driver did yell at me. I guess I was popping my gum, because all of the sudden the intercom blares, “Would you please stop popping your gum!” I looked at Amber and whispered, “Is he talking about me?” She replied, “I don’t see anyone else chewing gum…” Oops. We also learned that if you don’t recognize where you are, chances are you’re in Connecticut. Who knew? We arrived in NY at about 2pm. We found our way out to the street, and waited for a taxi. The taxi’s are just like I remember them, a near death experience that you pay for. Every time is a surprise. The surprise is whether you are going to make it to your destination alive or not.