The Roommate Strikes Again

Yes…. It’s blogging time. So not much is new around here. I’m headed to Seattle on Thursday for my friend Leah’s wedding. It’s going to be the event of the season! I’m pretty excited for her. I’m looking forward to it. Good friends, family and food! What else do you need?
The crazy thing is that I’m going to be in Seattle for the next three weekends. Usually I head over there once every other month or so. Not in this case. This weekend is Leah’s wedding, next weekend is Girl’s Weekend, and then the following weekend is Julie’s wedding. Holy crap. That is a lot of mileage on my poor little car. Good thing I bought it to be driven.
The roommate has a new hobby. The last two times that I’ve been in the midst of watching a movie and paused it, he has been switching it out to something else. I was watching some OC (who doesn’t love The OC? Heeeelllooo people… that is good-time teen drama. I’m making up for being home schooled people by living my high school years vicariously through this show. Of course I’m also about eight years to late. Gawd, that is terrible, I’m so old. I’m not talking about that anymore. The OC is keeping me young). Okay, so I’m watching The OC and I left to do something. I came back, hit play… and it was terrible. Has anyone here ever seen the movie Boogie Nights? Don’t, it’s terrible. It’s the drawn out saga of a paperboy that is trying to make it in the porn industry. I didn’t even make it five minutes into it. Anyway… guess what? It wasn’t the OC that started playing. Yeck. The roommate thought that was the funniest thing ever. I’m pretty sure the term “rolling on the floor with laughter” is applicable. Apparently my face went from confusion to shock to disgust very visibly. I think it was because I threw up a little in my mouth… totally gross (Just Kidding, there wasn't any throwing up). I’m not in to that type of movie. Then last night I was watching The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain. I love that movie. Anyway, I paused it to run downstairs and change out my laundry, came back, hit play…. And there is some crazy person chasing someone through the woods. It was the beginning of Friday the 13th. Once again… room mate laughing and me freaking out. We all know how well I don’t do with scary movies. All I have to say is the room mate better watch out…I’m going to come up with something really good. Any idea’s?
Umm… so who is excited for Girl’s Weekend? I am! It is going to be so fun! Lacey found us this awesome hotel; we are going to have the best time!! Ya! It’s going to be great. I am really looking forward to it. We are going to be staying downtown, and we have every intention of living it up! Making a name for Spokane! Ya! It’s like a mini vacation… Oh, speaking of vacations, who wants to take me to Hawaii? I need some sun and beach time. And a good mojito.

Quote for the Day

Ahh!!! It's been a real Monday. And it was terrible. And I almost didn't survive it... but I managed to sneak out of the office before someone else called to tell me that everything I do is wrong and I need to fix it right now. Sigh. Thank goodness the work day is over for me.
So my friend sent me this quote... and it made me stop and think for a second. And I decide that anything that does that to me deserves a little recognition... so here it is:

Should I smile because he's my friend, or cry because that's all he is?

Friday the 13th

Ahh… Yes. Friday the 13th. Ironically enough, thirteen has always been one of my favorite numbers. It all started when my parents decided that I would not be allowed to get my ears pierced until I turned thirteen. I waited so impatiently for that birthday to arrive. Oh, that was by far one of the most exciting things that could happen to a girl like me. Now I have seven piercing between my two little ears. Hmm… I wonder how that happened.
I think that it’s strange how you can’t really say “last Friday the 13th” and know when something happened, since the month is usually different and what not. Does anyone else feel that way? Two years ago I had a great Friday the 13th, and I honestly can say that I have no idea how many other Friday the 13th’s have passed since then. No points for attentiveness on my part.
It all really boils down to what freaks you out the most. A strange urban legend that everything that can go wrong will …or the belief that your future is in your own hands and you life is what you make of it. I will always stand by the phrase that what goes around comes around. I believe it.
Anyway… today was an unlucky day for someone. A new little kitten adopted me! He went to the vet today to be neutered. He is super cute, and was named JC Thomas by my room mate who technically found him. He is going to be a mostly outside cat…but as it gets colder I know that he will end up inside. He is super friendly, and he just loves to sit on your lap and be patted. Howard is scared stiff of him. In fact, JC chased him around the house last night. Poor little Howard freaked out and ran under the couch. It was actually pretty funny. JC is a tough little cat and he doesn’t like to share my attention with Howard. Howard spend part of the evening under the couch looking quite pitiful and sad that he couldn’t get closer to me. I’m thinking that I might just refer to him as Thomas… since I can’t handle names that consist of two initials. I spend half my time in New York referring to our friend/tour guide as PJ, JP, JT, and TJ. I'm still embarrassed about it. It is just too complicated. What happened to the brain cells that store that information? Does alcohol kill specific cells? Hmm….Note to future friends… change your name now. That way we will all be ahead of the game.

Brrrr.....

What happened to summer? Once minute I’m prancing around in my Capri pants and flip flops thinking that I still have lots of time to work on my tan. The next day I’m wearing layers upon layers of clothing in hopes of surviving the walk from my front door to my freezing cold car. Where did all that sun shiny weather go? The sun is shining right now, but it’s not doing any good. I kinda want to just run out side and give it a piece of my mind. Stupid Sun, who shines but doesn’t offer one ounce of warmth. Talk about misrepresenting yourself. You know, if you are going to show up at the party, it would be nice for you to bring something. Kinda like a BYOB, except it’s a BYOH (bring your own heat). Who…. I’m not going to get into that. Some people, whose names will remain anonymous, bring their own source of warmth (and personal entertainment) with them wherever they go. The roommate is one of them. Seriously, we have talked about this before. Farts are not that funny.
Today is the first day of hunting season. I think that it’s funny that I even know this. If you had asked me three years ago when hunting season started I would have laughed at you. Where I come from you don’t go out to the woods to hunt and then kill your dinner. You go down the street to the grocery store. Then you ask the local butcher at the counter for what you need. He wraps it up in brown paper, labels it, and you pay up front. None of this tramping around in camo at the crack of dawn with little special high pitched mating call whistles, shooting things, then cutting them up with your sawzall and dragging them home to put in the freezer. That is totally gross. I miss the city where camo is a fashion faux pas instead of necessity when hiding from Bambi in order to shoot his mom.
To celebrate the opening of hunting season, the cat befriended a cute little shrew, brought it into the office and caused quite an upheaval. Both my assistant and I could not keep from screaming as the little shrew ran for its life. Poor little shrew. It’s little shrew soul is in shrew heaven now, and it’s little shrew body is in the cat. Yuck. I think that I might become a vegetarian now. To bad I don’t really like salad. Darn it.

Open Letter to My Neighbor Part Two

Dear Visiting Neighbor,
I’m sorry that I was so harsh in my last correspondence. I have come to realize that turning the other cheek is supposed to be done permanently, instead of “just until you aren’t looking and then a I can trip you or accidentally step on your foot.”
I would like you to know that while we are not going to be best friends, I will not longer be sending you hate mail via my blog. And I will attempt to be the better person by not openly disliking you any more.
Oh, and when I was laughing at your joke, it wasn’t because I thought it was funny. That was my fake laugh. Just so you know. I'm to chicken to actually be rude to your face. So I'm going to continue to not be anything either way. Indifference is often a great choice.

Thank you,

Becky

P.S. If I do make cookies, I’m only giving you the burnt ones. But they will be licorice and arsenic free. I want Santa to stop by my house this year. But that has nothing to do with this letter, just so you know.

Open Letter to My Neighbor’s Visitor

Dear Sir,

I just am a little upset that I couldn’t make it to my house in time to hide from you yesterday. I heard that you were back in town, and I was hoping that my new car would confuse you. Instead, the second that I pulled into my driveway, you were waiting at my car door to talk with me. Don’t you think that if I wanted to say hi, I would have come over? Did it ever occur to you that I DON’T LIKE YOU? I only talked with you because I am scared that you are going to find a reason to take more of my money. That’s right, I’m scared of you. That is really the best way to make friends, scare them into befriending you. I can’t imagine any other reason that someone would befriend you. You cheated me out of a lot of money last summer, and I am still bitter about it. In fact, I am extremely bitter about it and I am very grateful that you decided to sell the house once you are done having it remodeled. Because if you moved in next door to me, I would probably end up in the bathtub with my hairdryer, taking a permanent vacation from reality. Please, please, stay at least two states away. And please, don’t talk to me like I had anything to do with your little back problems, because I was the one who ended up paying you $400 to sit on that tractor and tell Travis what to do. I don’t feel bad that you have back problems because of it. Four hundred dollars is a lot of friggin money. I’m kinda glad that you were stuck in bed for that long, perhaps it gave you time to think about how many shoes and lattes I could have bought with that hard earned money, you theifer. I’m hoping that money was a comfort to you; perhaps you had it sewn into a little pillow so you could snuggle with it. Since no one else in their right mind would have stopped by to visit you. I’m also hoping that it gave you quite a few paper cuts while you were counting it. Rubbing alcohol anyone? Grr….

Sincerely,

Your Passive Aggressive Neighbor

P.S. If you talk to me again, I'm am going to make you some special cookies. The kind with arsenic. Wait, is that rat poison or licorice flavoring? I need to watch more CSI.