R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

I hate the bank. We have spoken on this many times, but I would like to refresh your knowledge of my hate. The bank is mean to me. They don’t like me, and they make that obvious in every type of transaction we have. I am sure that the little numbers on the bottom of my receipts are really code for “You suck and we are slowly stealing all your money to buy a yacht in which we will sail to the tropics, drink mojhito’s and then toast your stupidity.” I’m also pretty sure that my picture is up in the break room with a sign under it that says, “If you see her, be as rude as you possible can.” In fact, they probably have a chart, and employee’s can get gold stars based on how rude they really are to me. “Oh, look Sally, you are only two stars away from getting Rudest Employee of the Month. I’m so proud of you. I really wish that I could be as rude as you, but I have these moments of nice-ness that I’m still trying to work through with my therapist.” Blah. So I shake my fist at you, you brick building of inequality. You stand for all that is wrong in the world. You are an example of merciless judgment, and you have no idea of what real life is like. If you understood me, and my priorities, we would not have these issues. But you are SELFISH and SELFCENTERED and I hate that about you and our one sided relationship. You are so incredibly egotistical, standing there, looking down at my sad little checking account and me. We both know that a poor struggling person like myself has few pleasures in this cold hard unfeeling world. I know that you see my lack of funds, you see the sadness on my face when I walk by the new shoe’s… and you have the nerve to laugh at me and slap me with overdraft fees. Again and again. And now all I see is red, figuratively and technically. This is why we don’t get along. I don’t ask for much. I don’t require a lot of maintenance. I don’t think that you should either. Apparently we did not really discuss this issue quite enough before we began this journey, and now I have been left feeling quite used. Used and penniless. All because of your lack of respect for me.

Have you ever been promised something? Something so exciting, that you hope immediately begins to grow. You start thinking about it all time… You look for it each day. You find yourself gazing out the window, dreamily pondering when it will arrive.

Mr. Punxsutawney Phil, I’m calling you out.

That groundhog is a liar. It started snowing yesterday, and it continued through the night. Pretty sure that he didn’t see his shadow (you can check out his web site at www.groundhog.org) , so that means there was only supposed to be three weeks of winter left. Today is the last day of those three weeks. Looking outside, do I see sunshine? Do I see happy little birds singing gaily and frolicking in cute bird baths? No. I see this cold wet stuff called snow all around.

Where is spring? What happened? Sigh…. I feel so used.

Sooo, this morning, I’m in the office and I notice that one of the guy’s left his phone in here. I grab it and walk out to the shop to hand it to him. On my way back in, I walk by a group of the boy’s; one of them turns to me and asks:

"So, what's up Becky?"
"Not much, Jeremy forgot his phone in the office."
"Really..."
"Ya. Man, it's cold out here!!"
"To bad you have to spend all day in the warm office, huh?"
"The office is emotionally cold, Dave, very cold. I need a coat for my poor little heart."
I'm pretty witty sometimes, you know. : ) Sometimes… I just really crack myself up.

Things I learned from my Dad:

The best burps come from warm RC Cola. No exceptions
The faster you drive the four wheeler in the snow, the more 360’s you can do when you slam on the breaks
When starting from a complete stop, lean forward so that you don’t do a huge wheely and fall of the bike in front of everyone
How to start a camp fire in the woods when all the sticks are damp
Parallel parking
Driving a stick shift
How to check my oil
How to take apart a .22 rifle and then put it back together after you have cleaned it
How to fall and then get back up again with out crying
Black socks are totally the same as shoes and can be worn outside to get the mail if needed
Nothing soothes the soul like time spent in the woods
It is possible to find that special someone and spend the rest of your life loving them
Flannel goes with everything
Winning is important, especially when playing board games, but family time is more important then winning
Believe, because God has a plan for you and it’s a good one

You know what I realized yesterday while watching King Kong on HBO on demand? Several things:

- Cable is way over rated, and it’s mostly for lazy people that don’t want to get off the couch to rent a movie or see it in the theater. Oh, that’s me people, it’s true.
- Jack Black is trying really hard to be a diverse actor. I haven’t decided yet if he is going to make it.
- Computer animation has come a long way… a really, really long way.
- Big earthworms’ eating someone’s head is gross and I involuntarily covered my eyes, even though this July I will be 26 years old.
- Did anyone else notice that half the time the heroine’s eyes were kinda dark blue, then half the time they were an unnaturally bright blue? - And last but not least, it’s really nice to have someone to hug when the movie gets scary, even if it’s just my super awesome little doggie Howard. He gives the best scary movie hugs I have ever gotten, and he doesn’t demand that I buy him a drink afterwards. It’s great!

Why did I get out of bed this morning?

Things that have gone wrong today:

1. It wasn’t Saturday and so my alarm went off and woke me up.
2. Howard thought that the floor right in front of my bed was the best place to put his toys… so I stepped on them half awake and almost fell.
3. There wasn’t any more of the awesome Thai food I made left for my lunch. I have soup in a to go cup and some crackers. I would prefer Thai food.
4. The fax machine is broken. I have opened every open-able flap, turned it off and on, and flipped it the bird several times. It still doesn’t work.
5. I have been on hold now waiting for the next available customer service agent for twenty minutes... and I am tired of listening to the SAME jazz song.
6. I just had to hang up because no one else is this office can get out of their chairs and help the customer that walked in.
7. On the phone again, and this time the music is different. Hmm… Strange. It’s classical. And the lady that continues to interrupt to tell me to” Please continue to hold and the next available representative will be with me shortly” has a different accent. Hmm….I really would like to have her and that annoying statement banned from existance
8. Lunch time. Ya. Or not. The soup is terrible. Blah. (You almost thought that was a good thing on the list, huh? But I tricked you!)
9. Out running some errands, and I passed a cop on the side of the free way. He switches on his lights and pulls over the car in front of me. Whew… I have to go change my pants. (Okay, that one did have a happy ending...)
10. It’s not going home time yet. I’m sure that me glancing at the clock ever two seconds will definitely make the time go by faster. But for some strange reason, I can’t seem to stop looking at the clock and begging it to move closer to the right time.

The Blog about Dentists, Part Two

So yesterday was not my favorite day. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the promise of kick-arse wings at Meagan’s house for dinner, I don’t know if I would have made it through the day.
I’ll tell you this, it really annoys me when the dentist, with twelve items in your mouth, not counting his hands, asks you if you are doing okay. First off, seriously, do I look like I’m having fun? Can you tell from the hate ray’s I’m sending you via the death stare that I’m not having a great time? Second off, how am I supposed to form a word when I can’t even move my tongue? Hmmm??? Tell me that. Being a dentist requires the talent of one sided conversations. Either that or the ability to read minds. I’m kinda glad that he couldn’t read my mind. He would have hired an armed escort for his commute home.
Sigh. It’s really isn’t the dentist that I have issues with. He is super nice, knowledgeable, and helpful. It was his bumbling assistant who couldn’t find her head. (I think that the little suction vacuum thing sucked her brain out by accident.) She was apparently brand new. She almost decapitated me with the suction vacuum thing. She sprayed my face and neck with water. She didn’t know what to hand the dentist. She didn’t know when to hand things to the dentist. She definitely needed some practice. And she got it while I squirmed and prayed for mercy. Sigh. I just don’t think that it’s in my future to ever have a wonderful dentist appointment. It’s not my fault. I don’t beg for mercy, or get all agitated. I’m calm, collected, and whine-free when I sit in that chair. And for some reason, I still get jilted. It’s done though. And I survived. Thank goodness.
P.S. The wings were awesome!!